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)Every time I heard the word "Mistress" internally a felt a small hum rundown my spine, and rather than continuing to argue with my... self? Mybodymate? I began walking, trying to follow Daisy's instructions to theprogramming's satisfaction, accompanied with constant play-by-play.(Left, right, left right, remember to cross your feet, there's aninvisible line in front of you, head up, shoulders back, left, right,left, right...)It continued. I couldn't concentrate on anything else, hearing a constantstream from the voice- the voice I had for the moment- giving meinstruction. As time wore on, the voice started to stray from the strictinstructions.(Left, right, left right, head up, cross your dainty little feet, headup, pretty eyes straight ahead, delicate arms at your side, roll thatsumptuous little rear of yours, you are gorgeous, left, right, left,right, you are beautiful and feminine and walk the tight rope and feelyourself perched on the balls of your feet and wouldn't they look nice. What can I get you?”“Pop,” goes the weasel.Many thanks to J & B for the following.Politically Correct Christmas MusicI saw that some radio stations are refusing to play “Baby It’s Cold Outside,” because a handful of hysterical people have lost their minds.Why stop there? Here are some other holiday classics that should also definitely be banned...I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus: condones cheatingThe Christmas Song: Open fire? Pollution. Folks dressed up like Eskimos? Cultural appropriationHolly Jolly Christmas: Kiss her once for me? Unwanted advancesWhite Christmas? RacistSanta Claus is Coming to Town: Sees you when you’re sleeping? Knows when you’re awake? Peeping Tom stalkerMost Wonderful Time of the Year: Everyone telling you be of good cheer? Forced to hide depressionRudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer: BullyingIt’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas: Forced gender-specific gifts: dolls for Janice and Jen and boots and pistols (GUNS!) for Barney and BenSanta Baby: Gold digger,.
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